He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
