the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
babies were throwing up all over the place
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize