I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
