So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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