It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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