Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
