porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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