Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want to be your penis for a week.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
