Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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