If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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