Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
