If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
