Are we in a gay sports bar?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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