why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
