We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
