He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
