Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Someone came in the potted fern
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
