just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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