vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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