I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize