Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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