he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
