i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
