i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
