I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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