Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
cat food counts as protein by the way
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
