i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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