Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
