So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
