I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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