I look better un-naked...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
