this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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