She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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