he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
