probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
