the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
