i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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