i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
