and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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