he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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