i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
