This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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