just tell him i said nine months
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
