What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How external is "for external use only"?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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