he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize