Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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