I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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