if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
