Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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