could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
