Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
