I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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