No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
