THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize